Have mercy upon me, O God,
according to Your lovingkindness;
according to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
and done this evil in Your sight-
that You may be found just when You speak,
and blameless when You judge.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51: 1,2,10


up to the brim.
keep me from falling.
i know You will.
and You can.

for when i am weak, then i am strong.
for it is the power of Christ that strengthens me.

2:17 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

the run was so wonderful.

i looked up at the night sky and it was just so amazing.
you reminded me of the wonder of your love, your awesome works, and what a great God you are.

i saw the dark sky, lit by the lights of your hands. the stars shone and twinkled so brightly. saw Orion's belt. if that's the one with 3 atars in a row.
saw the moon hidden half by the sky, or showing half of its fullness.
it really was so visibly lit up.

and i remembered You loved me.
and it was all i needed.
all i ever have in this life to have and to hold, and carry on til the day i see You in Heaven.

if only i could cut out a piece of sky and show it to you
or keep it close to my heart
that whenever i am down or weary,
i could take it out and look at it
and remember
You showed me the beauty of the night sky.

if only i could walk down and admire them with you every night
holding your hand in mine
where we would walk and talk and sing
melodious hymns of the Saviour we love
and enjoy the beauty of the night sky.

and i remember,
i do have it close to my heart,
with you in me
at every step of the way.
with you right in my heart,
the Spirit singing and testifying of the Saviour's love,
your hand holding my entire world.
and i lay still in the beauty of the night sky.

sammie! don't know if this poem/song would lighten your heart!
love you dear!

11:40 PM

C.S. Lewis Song

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming


at a loss of my ownself.
not knowing what to do.
facing plenty of disappointments-with people and myself.
and yet what can i do?

but turn my eyes to You,
beg You for mercy and more grace to live a life that pleases You,
and glorifies Your name.

and You whisper in my ear, "I love you."
always, now and forever.

what amazing love, and amazing grace!

i could live a lifetime with You
and then do it all again.

and like i can't force the sun to rise
or hasten summer's start,
neither should i rush my way into your heart.



i shall wait.
wait upon You.
and wait for you.
if you are to come.
and walk me down the aisle.

You, my first love,
alas!
may it never be that i would turn away from You!

You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride;
You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes,
With a single strand of your necklace.
"How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much better is your love than wine,
And the fragrance of your oils
Than all kinds of spices!"
-bridegroom
Song of songs 4:9,10

12:16 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

my little nephew and niece.

soo cute.

my cousin married an Aussie.
the kids are soo lovely.
the girl is a year and a half, Isabella, and the boy 8 months old, Georgia.
(:

i neeed to studdy.
):
these few days are flying too fast, and i've learnt so much, and yet accomplished little. realisation hits, and perhaps i drown myself in new year goodies and watching meaningless shows.

God.
i'm sorry.

12:20 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

You deserve it all
You deserve it all
everything i have

seeing kong kong in that manner-
the pain and weariness and everything unpleasant etched on his face;
his mouth curved in such a displeasing and brows so furrowed.
what sorrow, or hurt, or pain does he feel?

i can only second guess.
and i pray that You would take him away to be with You.
away from all the suffering, pain and frustrations this world has.

helplessness,and not being able to understand him.
i can't find anything to put into words the feeling.

i can only stand by your bed, hold and stroke your hand, pray and hope i'm helping you feel better.

i sang, but i don't know if you understood what i said.

and now, i just thought of the moments when i was in indo, and dear qiwen was sick and feeling so uncomfortable.
i could only sing, pray, cry, and wipe her face, let her rest on my shoulder, provide her some form of comfort.
humans are such helpless pathetic wretched beings.

how could i withhold the gospel from her then?
it seemed like You failed at that point of time.
but i know You didn't.
and You preserved her.
then show me,
please.
who am i then to make such a claim?

and i think how a wretch i was this afternoon.
making stupid remarks and showing such an ugly side of me.
sorry.

i think.
about marriage, and family, and the life ahead.
i cannot see.

there's distance in the air
and i cannot make it leave
i wave my arms all about me
and blow with all my might
i cannot sense You close
but i know You're always near
and the comfort of You near is what i long for

when i survey the wondrous cross
on which the Prince of glory died
all the vain things that charm me most
i sacrifice them to His blood

it was no secret that You love me
i was the joy that placed before Your eyes

You deserve it all
You deserve it all



lying in bed, at this unearthly hour,

dear Lord,
i pray that You be with him and strengthen him. Give him the words to say as he shares about You and Your precious truth. i pray that Holy Spirit you would guide him and give him the words to say, that he would glorify Your name. i pray that you remove the blindness of his friend, and help his friend to understand the gospel, and its saving power that the death on the Cross bringsand resurrection power. i pray that the seeds sown would tkae root, and that God, You would water it and let it grow. i pray against the works of the evil one who will try to steal, kill and destroy. but You O Lord are more powerful, and i pray that Your will be done in his friend's life, and You be glorifed above all.
thank You for choosing people like us to be Your instruments.
may all glory go to You and You alone!
in Jesus' most wonderful name,
amen!


blessed cny and valentine's.



i daren't say "i love You".

Jesus, help me to love You more everyday.

2:32 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

it was such a funny time in the room.
rachel and i had some bonding.
thank God for that.

get rid of all anger.

i'm learning that.
to put aside all these.
and love like Jesus loves.

so trying but it's all for You.

save me once again,
from myself.

people won't know how much you know until they know how much you care.

field trip to NKF was so meaningful and eventful.
and once again, i'm challenged.
will i be the best nurse i can be,
putting others before myself,
patient's comfort, safety and interests above all else?

i can only do that if Christ is first in my life.
and everything else will fall into place.
Love God,
and love others.

not self-esteem,
but Christ-esteem.
not who i am,
but what You've done.



and they sang this at John's wedding.
i controlled my tears.
because it just awes and humbles me,
reminds me that a God like You would step into time and love someone like me.
indeed,
it is all for Your glory.

i praise You God.

Labels: thank You

1:43 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

keep me alive.
i feel so tired out.

and mum and dad seem to be constantly unhappy with me.
school sucks.
because i can't catch up.
and i don't seem to be evangelising enough.
and mayb im pms-ing.

but Lord, You make it all worth while.
only You bring meaning to life.

12:43 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

alot of things i (and a lot of girls like danitza and sammie) want to do on our wedding day:

1. sing songs to our spouses n mk each other cry tears of joy
2. dance and have fun at our wedding.
3. do things you'll nv do in your entire life like yell and run down the aisle in your wedding gown and sport shoes.
4. lead worship together for our wedding.
5. not get everyone to sit for so long.
6. be spontaneous and get married in a not-usual-normal way.
7. i currently cannot think of anymore because i have tut work on my mind.
BUT MORE MAD IDEAS, CURRENTLY TAG.
heh.

i feel mad.
and i feel like getting married.
i want to.

but i shall leave that in your hands dearest God, Lord, Jesus.
because You are the author and perfector of my faith and You are my Creator.
not me.
(:

smiles.

that's what happens if you have two weddings on a weekend-saturday and sunday.

sammieeeee:
this song is dedicated to you!!!
haha even though you linked me to this song.
heh.

until God shows you who's made for you,
i'll sing this song for you!
loads of love. hugs!




I Will Be Here(Steven Curtis Chapman)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.


so sweeeeet.
i thank God i'm a girl when at times i feel like saying stuff like that.
and i'm entitled to.
haha.
feel so silly laughing to myself.
indeed, i pray for my husband-to-be, that he may love Jesus til the point of death,
and love His word, living and breathing in the gospel.
that we may both walk worthy of the gospel, and the hope of our calling.
today's sermon at adam road presbytarian was so good.
a life of holiness.

the christian life: simply to live a life that pleases God and is holy and separate to Him.
Holiness is our status, and yet it is a process we go through til the day we meet Jesus in Heaven.

help me to grasp that.


thank You Jesus for making life worth the living!
and for evry moment, from life, to death, beyond death,
i'm so so thankful for the cross.




Oh, to see the dawn
Of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev'ry bitter thought,
Ev'ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the vict'ry cry.

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.

This, the pow'r of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.


help me to live the coming week for You.
it's so difficult.

12:01 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

it speaks so much to me now.

ask me what's on my mind.

Lord, oh for grace to trust You more,
and to last me for a lifetime.

let the tears wash away my pride and keep me broken before You.

Labels: You are breaking my heart for what breaks Yours.

2:31 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

tired.

just finished listening to Influenza lec that i missed in wk 2.
now its alr wk 4!
i can't believe it.

so fast so fast.

visited gong gong today.
and it was just so heart-wrenching.
seeing the bed sore. skin tear. and how helpless he was. and uncle george feeling abit low as well.
ugh.
wish i could do more.
and then it just comes in the need for prayer.
pray more.
God loves him so much more than i do.
and can do so much more.
i'm only human.
i shall trust.
and pray.
and do whatever i can.
going to drop by tmr aftr sch.
stupid sch. don't like all the assignments tt are coming up. they suck terribly.
i shan't get angry.
sighs.

You gave me hope
You showed me grace
at the cross

and this is grace: an invitation to be beautiful.

redemption calls out the best of who we are.
and yet, even this best is like filthy rags before You,
because You are of infinite value,
and to describe You with our human words are but an insult to You.
our created words cannot describe the Creator.
its just impossible.
You are leagues and leagues above us.

help me to trust You,
and to live a life that pleases You.
it's getting tougher every day.
and i feel like giving up.

Be Thou my vision O Lord of my heart
naught be all else to me
save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
waking or sleeping
Thy presence my guide.

embrace sleep. and there's still so much to do.

but i look to You Jesus.

1:22 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

time is flying time is flying time is flying.

and i'm so not pleased.

feels like tearing my hair out.
so much to do.
and i don't know if i should take this project on.

ginny's 21st is coming.
exciting.
but i dont feel excited for mine.

i feel lost.
suddenly.

and imagine me saying that spastically.
i really do feel that way.

hmm.
i think i can't keep up with the to-do-list.
i can never.
not without God's grace.
it's a miracle i'm awake every day.
and i can live and breathe.


okay. enough time wasted.
to Ephesians!

i'm getting weirder and more forlorn thoughts by the day.

10:56 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

shout it out (:

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all the brothers and sisters

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of old.

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credits.

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wonderful people

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